Rehabilitation after Sunnaas, hit the wall
A bad period..., back to before the start, must learn to use the knowledge from Sunnaas.
I've had a tough time since the last update, hit a wall, I've felt like I was back to the time before my stay at Sunnaas, discouraged, indifferent, tired, alone, sad, fighting a battle every day to move on, to get out of bed, asking who I am, what the meaning of my life is, I've really felt the sadness that the life I had is gone, the job, friends and some family have disappeared. Have a meaning in getting up every day, that someone needs me, that I matter to someone.
I have felt a lot of grief over what has been lost, suddenly it all came crashing down on me, in fact the first time after the accident that I have truly understood the consequences of the accident, that this has really happened to me, that my life has changed forever.
Tough words..., yes, but that's how I've felt for a while now, much like I felt long before my stay at Sunnaas, Sunnaas turned it around, made me see that I have value, that there could be a meaning to my life that someone needs me, I was prepared that there could be a downturn after I returned home from my stay at Sunnaas, and yes it did.
I have had to dig deep, stop, go back to the material I got at Sunnaas, draw strength from deep, deep down, remember what I learned at Sunnaas, use the tools I got. I am on my way up again, fighting again, this is who I am and want to be, a fighter. I am on my way to and getting back on the right path again, but it is a tough fight to accept that life has changed, that many of the things and people who have made me who I was, who gave my life a meaning, a value, who gave me the desire to get up every day, gave me the joy of existing, of living, are gone, that I have to find other things, other people, other opportunities to give my life a new meaning, find those who want to be a part of my life, who accept and understand who I am now.
There is also positive progress, I have really found my motivation and desire to edit films and photos again, I film a lot with a drone now, I film my "happy spaces" the places where I go to find peace and quiet in my soul, where my batteries are recharged, where I get mental replenishment and can let go of my worries, be one with nature. I have started making a series of videos focusing on some of the beautiful places I have found in the Nordic nature, more or less right outside the door of where most of us live here in Norway.
I feel that it gets me up in the morning, gets me started with the day, gives my life a little more meaning, I see that more and more people are watching my videos on my YouTube channel, so it motivates me to continue, I hope that others can feel a little of the peace that I feel, when they take the time to watch my films. I go to scheduled treatments and follow-ups from Sunnaas which also helps me move forward, I keep in touch with a few of the people I met at Sunnaas, and a few of my solid friends and family also keep in touch with me and give me positive input and feedback, so yes I am constantly positive, constantly moving forward.
Small steps yes, starting to accept that it will take time, that I need to slow down, consider the consequences of what has happened and that my life has taken a new direction, look at how I can fulfill my new passion, my dream which is in the long term to be able to help others have a better life by sharing and teaching my own experiences and lessons.
Link to my YouTube channel
English version
My Life after Sunnaas
Norsk versjon
Livet mitt etter Sunnaas