My story of how life suddenly can change
May 2023, I took a bike ride, a ride that would change my life in a way that I could never in any way have imagined, a change I couldn't control, couldn't understand, suddenly I wasn't sure who I was anymore, was not the same as yesterday, unsure of how and where my life will head now, who am I.
What could possibly go wrong!!!, but something happened, an accident that changed everything.
It was a May day in 2023, a day when everything suddenly changes..., or was it a December day in 2021..., yes difficult to understand? It is for me too, but let me try and tell what I remember and have been told by others.
I want to start that May day in 2023 first, a Friday, my 2 kids who at that time were 14 and 16 years old were to come to me that Friday, the start of their 2 week stay with me, the oldest at 16 years, called me after school and informed me that they didn't arrive until 5 p.m., so I decide to use that for a opportunity to take a short quick bike ride up in the hils, little did I know then that it would be the start of a life changing situation that I could never have dreamed of about in my worst nightmare.
I remember getting on my bike and the next hour or so, and then there is a big black hole, the next time I remember something again is in a hospital bed in the emergency room at the hospital, approximately 8 hours later, 8 hours that are delete from my brain and don't know if they ever will come back.
At the hospital they told me that I have major injuries primarily to the head both on the outside and unfortunately also on the inside, bleeding, swelling and visible damage to the brain were detected, a fracture above the left eye, the left cheekbone is broken, major damage to the left arm.
Afterwards, I have been able to reconstruct what had happened, due to the journal from the rescue team that found me and electronic information from my Apple Watch.
The electronic track information that had from my Apple Watch showed that I crash on the way down a steep forest road on my MTB bike, went from approx. 45 km/h to 0 in a couple of meters. The rescue team said that they found me 6 to 8 m down in a hillside beside the mountain road lying down with my head into a stone ditch, with major injuries.
I was found by a rescue team because my Apple Watch has a fall detector that registered the accident and called the emergency number and sent my GPS location by itself.
Without it, it is not certain that I would have been alive today, I was lying so that I was not visible from the road, I was told.
The rescue team brought me down from the hils to a point where an ambulance could pick me up.
This was the start of a totally changes in my life situation that I could not have imagined in any way, the first approx. 2 months after the accident are very hazy in my memory today, remember some broken pieces now and then, I'm feeling that I starte to get more clear memories from sometime in August 2023, remember minor episodes from the end of May, June and July 2023, but feels a bit like it's something I've dreamed more than I can say I actually experienced it, that couple of months was and is very blurred and distant in my head.
One of the things I remember, that stands out very clearly is when I first came to my GP after the accident with a head that looked like it had been in the ring with Mike Tyson for 13 rounds, his first remark was "this is going to and take a long time" I remember thinking a long time..., ok a few weeks maybe a month max 2 is a very long time I thought..., little did I know that there would be talk of years. But the remark "this will take a long time" has been hanging in the air since then.
A year later its start to be clear for me, that yes this will take time to recover from.
In and out of hospital, treatments, examinations, tests, EEG, MRI, CT, PET+++, an a incredible number of different letter combinations I have been learning to know since the accident, learned and find my way around the hospital better in I can find around the the city, have no overview over how many hours and days I have spent at hospital and other treatment places.
After a good 10 months I got a kind of a diagnosis, a new letter combination added to my life, PCS, Post Commotio Syndrome, concussion which persists, they told me, told me that it is only time that can help, so they will recommend me to a rehabilitation hospital for further help.
But what does December 2021 have to do with the story?, Yes you see, because I also ended up in the emergency room at the hospital on a December day in 2021 with a major memory loss, which was a bit "easily" written off as TGA at the time, Transient global amnesia is a condition where short-term the memory temporarily disappears. And them I was sendt home with a packet of painkillers
During all the examinations at the hospital after the accident in May 2023, I have questioned what happened in December 2021, because in addition to the loss of memory I had 3 broken ribs and a concussion, and now the doctors say now, base on these injury's, that its more likely that I had some kind of crash that day in December 2021.
I know that I was on a bike ride that December day, and remember I started home around 12 o'clock that Sunday and the next thing I remember is that I am sitting on the floor in the shower at 5:00 p.m. and hearing my cell phone ring, my ex-wife wondering if she could come and borrow covid tests, she appeared about an hour later, she has told me afterwards that she reacted to my behaving, she told me that I appear stranges, encouraged me to call my eldest son and his wife, she is a nurse, which I did when she left..., or here there is something wrong again because she leaves at 1830 and later when I check my phone log, it appears that i first call to my them 2 hours later, hours which is gone again, they ask me to call 113, which I do but after a few hours without them showing up, luckily my ex wife follows me up again, driving me to the nearest emergency room, and they send me to the hospital.
Unfortunately, I couldn't tell you what had happened that day when I came to the emergency room at the hospital..., because I don't remember anything, so after a day I was sent home but with a packet of painkillers and a message to take it easy a period until my ribs were fine again, they told me that I had TGA "Transitory Global Amnesia" was on a couple of MRI examinations over the next two months, but then I got covid in February 2022 and all examinations stopped due to covid, I guess I never felt that I really got back on my feet, after that.
I was alone on that bike ride in December 2021, so don't really know what happened that day or on that ride, checked the electronic tracks I had via my Apple Watch and my bike computer, it might look like I had an accident, there is a period of about 15 minutes where I have been at rest in the same place ref GPS track, on a cold winter's day I don't think I have sat still and looked at nature for 15 minutes. So yes it is possible that I had an accident on that December day in 2021, but I don't remember I don't know!!!.
That I´m not remembering not knowing, knowing that something is gone is a very unpleasant thing, a bit frightening.
Got covid in February 2022 and was badly affected, was sick with fever ++ for a good 4 weeks, so the "accident" from December 2021 "disappeared" a bit in the dark after that, the focus became the after-effects of covid and not brain damage...
Struggled with exhaustion, concentration, focus and headaches over 2022, talked to my doctor about it but it, but on that time every one talk about long covid challenges the aftemath to the pandemi, so I starte to belive that my challenges was related to the covid I had in February 2022 and not to the accident in December 2021.
After a trip to Denmark for a family party in spring of 2023, I felt for the first time that there was something wrong with my head, difficulty with focus, concentration, had problems following conversations at the party, became very tired and exhausted afterwards.
Contacted my doctor shortly after I was back in Norway,
Which resulted in me be put on sick leave, pending examinations at the hospital.
Unfortunately, I never got around to that examination before everything went seriously wrong in May 2023.
Left with many questions and few answers, confused, tired, dejected, my life has changed, don't understand who I am anymore, My reflection is shattered into pieces, I don't know how to put it back together.
I'm broken, useless, my life as I know it has disappeared.